Thanks To Friends, Clinically Depressed Lumberjack Is Still Okay


Canadian tree feller Mike Burgess used the occasion of international R U OK day to express gratitude for the support  he received from his friends to help him through a recent bout of clinical depression.

“I just didn’t seem to be getting the same enjoyment out of cutting down trees, putting on women’s clothing and hanging around in bars like I once did”, said a morose Burgess as he floated down the mighty rivers of British Columbia. “Even as I was eating a nice plate of buttered scones for tea last Wednesday, all I could think of was ‘what’s the point’.”

“I was seriously concerned for Mike,” said his best girl Rita McCartan as she stood by his side. “I asked him if he wanted to press some wild flowers with me and he just launched into a sad monologue about how all beautiful things must die, even the pretty flowers.”

“I asked Mike ‘R U OK’ and he really appreciated me asking,” said his best friend Charlie Walters, who often lunches with Burgess and accompanies him to the lavatory. “I suggested that he maybe should talk to his GP about how he was feeling and he said that was a good idea.”

Friends were relieved to find Burgess skipping and jumping again. The trigger for his latest bout of depression is believed to be frustration at not being a girlie like his dear papa.

Lifeline 13 11 14; Mensline 1300 789 978; Kids Helpline 1800 551 800; Big Burly Lumberjacks Sitting On A Log Discussing Their Feelings 555 123 456.

Peter Green

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