Cory Bernadi Only Person In Australia Who Knows What They Think Of Malcolm Turnbull’s Victory


South Australian senator Cory Bernadi’s offer to resign from the Liberal Party in protest has made him the first person in Australia to come to any kind of conclusion about what they think about Malcolm Turnbull’s rise to the position of Prime Minister.

“I think I’m for him because he’s in the Liberal Party but he seems to be a bit wet when it comes to anything that you might call a Liberal Party policy,” said rusted on Liberal Party voter Sebastian Pinstripe. “He’s not the Labor Party, so I guess that counts in his favour.”

“I’m really glad that he’s toppled that knob-end Tony Abbott but in doing so I think he’s crippled Labor’s chances of winning the next election,” said rusted on Labor Party voter Cheryl Underdog. “Then again, he might make a better Labor Prime Minister as a Liberal Prime Minister than any of the tossers who are anywhere near the top of the Labor Party at the moment.”

“I think Malcolm Turnbull will be the best Australian Democrats Prime Minister this country has ever produced,” said swinging voter Ellen Clueless. “Then again I’ve heard he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which can’t be a good thing.”

“Don’t ask me, I’m just glad that being PM will keep him out of the house,” said Lucy Turnbull. “It’ll give me a chance to polish his lip marks off all the mirrors.”

Julie Bishop is continuing in her role as deputy PM, totally unaware that there is now a new Prime Minister. Scott Morrison was seen avoiding a truck full of Gideon’s Bibles outside a Canberra radio studio and declined to comment.

Peter Green

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