Benji Madden Finds New Way To Look Like A Massive Tool


Reality television ‘star’ turned celebrity spouse, Benji Madden has revealed a new way to look like a massive tool after revealing a diamond patterned tattoo on the top of his head.

Madden was pictured in West Hollywood and almost went unnoticed until someone asked his spouse, Cameron Diaz, “what that mark is on her handbag”, at which point she replied, “oh that’s Benji’s new tattoo.”

A friend of Benji Madden told The (un)Australian about the new tattoo: “Benji always wanted to be Hollywood’s biggest tool and for a while he was, I mean going from being vegan to spruiking KFC that’s a genius tool move. But after he married Cameron, people became more accepting of him so he felt the massive head tattoo was the best way for people to be reminded of his toolish past.”

No word yet on whether Madden’s twin, or as he’s more commonly known ‘the other one’, will follow in his footsteps. The publishers of Mad Magazine have reportedly offered the twins tens of dollars in the hopes that they will get matching tattoo’s that can be turned in to a back page fold-in.

Mark Williamson

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