No Bullshit Jogger Running On Spot At Traffic Lights


That jogger currently running on the spot while waiting for the little green man to appear at the traffic lights is dead set serious about getting his exercise in, reports a passing motorist.

“Now there’s a man who understands the value of not cooling down in the middle of strenuous physical activity,” said Kyeemagh car driver Lindsay Drake as he watched the jogger bobbling up and down on the footpath beside the button on the traffic lights. “A lesser man may have stopped to catch his breath but this guy wasn’t going to take any chances with sudden blood pooling in the limb extremities. The message he’s sending the world is that he’s the master of his lactic acid concentration.”

“He sounds like a man who doesn’t want to get a chill from the wind cooling down his sweat,” said AIS sports medicine expert Dr Alicia Sweatband. “Robert De Castella was the pioneer of jogging on the spot at the traffic lights whilst out on a run, a technique that helped him to gold medals in the marathon at the World Championships and the Commonwealth Games.”

The practice was copied by the highly successful Kenyan middle and long distance runners, who adapted the technique to jogging up and down on the spot whenever an angry bull elephant stood in their way when they were doing a lap of the block.

The jogger has now finished his run and is doing some stretching exercises against a telegraph pole, confirming to the watching world his take no prisoners attitude towards running around the block.

Peter Green

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