Quinoa Officially Pronounced Wan-Ker


The Worldwide Association for Proper and Correct Pronunciation has today issued a press release clarifying that the ‘super food’ quinoa should be pronounced as ‘wan-ker’, as the q is silent.

The press release has come as a bit of a shock for some, but not so much as a surprise for the majority of the population.

Inner-city cafe owner and man bun enthusiast, Brett Le Bearde spoke to The (un)Australian about the press release, saying: “Yeah it figures that a powerful organic super food like quinoa wouldn’t be pronounced how we thought. So wan-ker, eh? I look forward to serving my customers a lentil, chickpea, mung bean, kale, wan-ker smoothie.”

Plans are afoot for the inner-city suburb of Newtown in Sydney to hold the world’s first wan-ker festival to celebrate the super food. There will be a parade devoted to wan-kers and organic farmers will be encouraged to try and grow the world’s largest wan-ker.

The current world record for the largest wan-ker, as noted by the Guinness World Records, is held by D Trump from New York and stands at 188cms and weighs around 90 kilograms.

Mark Williamson

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