Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce is to be rebranded Barnabus in an effort to appeal to inner city voters at the next election. ”Scotty, err, sorry, ScoMo has seen that Barnaby doesn’t poll well with the inner city voters,” said… Read More ›
hipster
“Let Me Through, I’m A Wellness Blogger” Says Useless Bloke At Accident Scene
An absolute waste of atoms has heroically pushed his way through the crowd at the site of a horrific accident to administer some wellness to the seriously injured victim. “Stand aside everyone, I’m a qualified wellness blogger,” said grade a… Read More ›
Tearful Baristas Admit It’s Been International Roast™ All Along
All coffee served in Australia’s hipster cafes has been International Roast™ the whole time, confessed the nations baristas in a tear soaked press conference yesterday. “The Belizian Misty Mountain, the Los Pelotas Kilimanjaro Cascara, even the one that allegedly… Read More ›
Malcolm Turnbull Confuses Hipster With Homeless In Melbourne
Australia’s second longest serving Prime Minister of the last 2 years, Malcolm Turnbull has confused a hipster with a homeless person in Melbourne and inadvertently given the hipster $5. A spokesperson for the Prime Minister explained the mistake, saying: “Easy… Read More ›
Quinoa Officially Pronounced Wan-Ker
The Worldwide Association for Proper and Correct Pronunciation has today issued a press release clarifying that the ‘super food’ quinoa should be pronounced as ‘wan-ker’, as the q is silent. The press release has come as a bit of a… Read More ›
Pub Bore Stabbed After Being Dared To Say ‘Good Friday Isn’t That Good’ Again
The most boring man in Erskineville died from the 36 stab wounds he received at The Erko on Thursday night after repeatedly attempting to get plaudits for his annual Good Friday joke[sic]. There were up to 200 people in the main bar at… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 