Former deputy prime minister and self-confessed families man Barnaby Joyce has called on the Government to outlaw the practice of animal vasectomies. Following the incident in Newtown NSW where a Baboon escaped his impending vasectomy. “It’s time we put an… Read More ›
Newtown
Tearful Baristas Admit It’s Been International Roast™ All Along
All coffee served in Australia’s hipster cafes has been International Roast™ the whole time, confessed the nations baristas in a tear soaked press conference yesterday. “The Belizian Misty Mountain, the Los Pelotas Kilimanjaro Cascara, even the one that allegedly… Read More ›
Increase In Heart Disease Attributed To Hipsters Trying Out Halal Snack Packs
The Australian Medical Association says an alarming rise in heart attacks in inner western Sydney is due to increased consumption of halal snack packs by politically aware lunchers wanting to show solidarity with the Muslim community. “Ever since Pauline Hanson… Read More ›
Chaos Descends In Sydney As Burger Place Opens
Sydney was thrown into bedlam yesterday following the opening of a new burger joint, the BBC is reporting. While news in the affected region is naturally limited as a result of such an unprecedented restaurant being opened in such a… Read More ›
Quinoa Officially Pronounced Wan-Ker
The Worldwide Association for Proper and Correct Pronunciation has today issued a press release clarifying that the ‘super food’ quinoa should be pronounced as ‘wan-ker’, as the q is silent. The press release has come as a bit of a… Read More ›
Australia Hoping Donald Trump Becomes President To Distract World From Tony Abbott
Australians from across the country are expressing their support for businessman, reality TV star and famed hair groomer Donald Trump’s campaign for the 2016 US presidency, in the fervent hope that “finally there’ll be a world leader more batshit crazy… Read More ›