Barnaby Joyce Calls For An End To Animal Vasectomies

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Former deputy prime minister and self-confessed families man Barnaby Joyce has called on the Government to outlaw the practice of animal vasectomies. Following the incident in Newtown NSW where a Baboon escaped his impending vasectomy.

“It’s time we put an end to the barbaric practice that is the vasectomy,” said Barnaby Joyce. “I mean once it starts with animals pretty soon we will be moving on to humans and god forbid adulterous politicians.”

“Look I just want the bloody Government out of my life, I want to live free like the baboons with multiple wives.”

When asked why as a member of the Government he wanted the Government out of his life, Barnaby Joyce said: “I’m not a member of the Government, I’m just a humble back bencher trying to make a quid to feed my families.”

“Maybe if say a certain leader with an Elvis fetish were to resign and someone say a humble back bencher were to replace him then maybe I’d consider myself a member of the Government.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to have a few beers with that baboon in Newtown.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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