Pauline Hanson Demands A Panda Cull Following News Of A Pandemic


One Nation Leader Pauline Hanson has come out today demanding that the Government do the right thing and cull all pandas following news of the impending pandemic.

“It’s all well good for our Prime Minister Scott Morrison to talk of a pandemic but it’s another thing entirely to do something about it,” said a fired up Senator Hanson. “The first thing we must do is cull all pandas to ensure they don’t spread this pandemic any further.”

“I have been in talks with Bob Katter and he has offered up the use of his best shot gun to get the job done.”

When asked if she realised that a pandemic was not caused by pandas, Senator Hanson replied: “Enough with your fake news. I mean come on you expect me to believe that a pandemic is not caused by pandas?”

“One Nation’s leading scientific mind Malcolm Roberts has been studying the causal relationship between pandas and pandemics for years now.”

“He has shown me some pretty explosive blog posts on the subject.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to South Australia to shoot a panda or two.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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