A new book by a Canberra insider has revealed rumours that former prime ministerial chief of staff Peta Credlin re-gifted a bunch of flowers to Margie Abbott and her virginity to Tony Abbott.
“Tony Abbott once said that virginity is the greatest gift you can give someone and if the gossip around Parliament House is correct then Peta Credlin has dusted hers off and stuck a card on it and re-gifted it to her boss,” said journalist Thelma Durham, author of the new book Are They Doing It And Other Ways To Sell An Otherwise Boring Political Memoir. “Ms Credlin was observed feeding Tony food off her own fork, resting her head on his shoulder and when Mr Abbott met Barack Obama he stood behind Peta Credlin and winked at the president while doing the moving his finger inside his circled thumb and forefinger gesture.”
“These rumours are totally scurrilous”, replied Mr Abbott, who is currently reading a book called Handy Nineteenth Century Phrases For Politicians. “Of course I gave her a playful pat on the arse every now and then, it’s something every good boss should do to his female employees. If I had my way it would be enshrined into every enterprise agreement.”
This week’s Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull refused to comment on the rumours, except to say it was a pity they were a distraction from Mr Abbott’s efforts to undermine his leadership and in no way provided a useful smokescreen for his own falling popularity.