Man Who “Can’t Believe It’s March Already” Starts Making Preparations For April

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A Sydney man fed up with constantly being caught by surprise by the progression of time has resolved to be ready and waiting for it from this point onward. Peter Peterson, a 38-year-old mail room clerk from Petersham, has devised a list of techniques to ensure that come 01/04/2016 that he will be acclimatised to the actual time of the year.

Peterson hopes that the preparation will also serve as an effective buffer against any April Fools hi-jinks against which he has traditionally been very susceptible. His preparations will include turning the calendar on his refrigerator to April on March 15, dating all documents to April  and celebrating his birthday, which actually occurs in late April, on March 20.

Jason Harrison, a colleague of Peterson has mixed feelings about the idea. “Look on one hand it get’s pretty tedious whenever Pete gets up and sighs ‘I can’t believe it’s March, April, May, June…December already.’ So it should be nice, not having to go through that. Then again now he just talks about how he’s not gonna get ambushed this year which is probably even more annoying. Plus he’s completely stuffed up all our stationary orders by dating them to April. We’re all writing in green ink because we’re not getting any more blue or black pens till April.”

Peterson was approached for an interview but all the dates he suggested were in April.

Nathan Lentern

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