Police have diffused a rowdy protest against the banning of greyhound racing by luring the angry crowd away from the NSW parliament with a mechanical lookalike of Premier Mike Baird.
“We were concerned for the safety of the Premier when the unruly mob started baying for his blood,” said Sergeant Lou Stedenko. “We thought the best solution was to nip into David Jones and dress up one of their shop dummies in a business suit, tie a rope to it and tow it past the crowd behind a ute.”
“The greyhound owners started salivating and raced off down Macquarie Street after the fake Mike Baird in a pack,” said onlooker Sharon Bystander. “A couple of enterprising bookies even started taking bets on who’d catch him and I won ten bucks betting on this old bloke in a cloth cap.”
“We really thought it was Mike Baird because it was carrying a surfboard and wearing a hard hat,” said greyhound trainer Arthur Whippet. “By the time we’d caught up to it in the cross city tunnel and torn it to pieces the real Mike Baird had slipped out the back door of Parliament House and was on his way to Manly for a surf.”
Several of the slower greyhound trainers were taken away and quietly shot after failing to catch the mechanical Mike Baird.
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