Australia’s defamation lawyers have braced themselves to be working around the clock to deal with the fallout from whatever senator elect Derryn Hinch might have to say in his maiden speech in parliament.
“I was looking forward to two weeks in the Maldives but once Derryn and his colossal mouth got that senate spot I immediately canned all notions of time off for the next six years,” said leading defamation QC Norris Rumpole. “Luckily my travel insurance has a specific clause covering acts of blowhard beardos and I was able to claim back the cost of my flights and the diving lessons.”
“This parliamentary privilege thing is the absolute best for spouting off whatever bollocks you want about anyone who rubs you up the wrong way,” said a beaming Hinch as he entered the senate chamber carrying several thick files marked “People who’ve rubbed me up the wrong way”.
“It’s all the fun and power of talk back radio without having to keep an overnight bag ready with my toothbrush and a spare pair of PJs packed in it just in case I get tossed into the can.”
Several nervous people around Australia have already booked time with defamation lawyers in readiness for Hinch’s maiden speech.
“Derryn has incorrectly named me in the past as a kiddy fiddler and this time I want to be prepared,” said Bendigo dentist Ralf Harris. “My next door neighbour George Pill is also dreading what allegations that yeti faced idiot might be about to make.”
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