Lawn Bowls Rocked By Match Fixing Scandal

lawn-bowls

The world of lawn bowls is in disarray after allegations of match fixing surfaced on the eve of the semi finals in the metropolitan pairs competition.

“Sometimes as much as a full schooner can be bet on the result of one end and with such high stakes involved it is inevitable that corruption has crept into the game,” confirmed Sergeant Lou Stedenko from the Organised Crime Squad. “We are investigating several suspicious incidents where bowlers have ‘mistakenly’ held the bowl with the small circle on the wrong side causing the bowl to curl off in the wrong direction.”

“I’m not naming names but it does seem suspicious that Bev has started to arrive for matches driving a brand new red Mini Minor just after her team lost a string of close pennants matches,” said a source from the North Penshurst Bowling club who just wanted to be known as Val. “It’s an open secret that she can drop as much as $5 during one session on the pokies and often posts photos of herself on social media drinking some pretty exotic blends of tea.”

Colourful racing identities are familiar faces around the change rooms trying to associate themselves with the leading lawn bowlers.

“We’ve had dodgy blokes offering our best players free therapeutic massages and openly selling tubes of Deep Heat in the club car park,” said Digger McStruth, committee member of the Tamworth Bowling Club. “There’s a well known journalist from Inside Bowls magazine who regularly gets a purple tint put through her hair free of charge at one of the city’s more salubrious hair dressing salons.”

Peter Green
http://www.twitter.com/Greeny_Peter

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