Man Living Under Rock Had No Idea That Australia Detained Refugees


Tony Scanlon who lives under a rock in the Kuring-gai Chase National Park was surprised today when he found out that Australia is detaining refugees on islands and that some people don’t like it very much.

“How come I never knew about this before and how come it wasn’t in the papers?,” said Scanlon after he emerged from under his rock briefly to buy some bread and a Kit Kat. “Fair enough the only papers I read are ones that blow past my rock that people have left in the bush so the last paper I read was a 1985 form guide from The Sydney Sun.”

Before going to live under his rock Scanlon kept himself well informed by watching TV current affairs shows, especially the one hosted by Derryn Hinch, who he assumes has long ago faded into obscurity.

“Come to think of it, I do remember being made aware of this refugee thingy when that goober from Big Brother put the masking tape across his mouth rather than have to talk to Gretel Killeen,” said Scanlon as he purchased a can of slater repellent to make his rock a more comfortable place to live. “Surely that would have fixed the problem or is this a totally different bunch of refugees those people are protesting about. Anyway, now that the people in Canberra know about this I’m sure they’ll get to work finding a better solution. After all, nothing sways public opinion better than watching some screaming lefty getting dragged out of somewhere by a copper.”

Scanlon then asked us a few questions about Donald Trump, the Mannequin Challenge and Nutri Bullets before starting his trek back to the wilderness.

Peter Green

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Categories: Media

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