President Trump fresh off drawing up plans to invade Poland has signed a Presidential decree banning any planned ‘hands across America’ fundraising initiatives being held during the term of his Presidency.
The American President spoke the The (un)Australian about his latest decree, saying: “A lot of people have me figured wrong, they think I mock the handicapped or the less fortunate when in reality I am their biggest advocate.”
“Having small hands is a tough cross to bear, not that I would know as my hands are huge don’t believe me? I can find 1.5 million people to verify this. But for those people out there that suffer from this burden we need to look out for them not mock them with a protest involving hands across America, what an insensitive thing to do.”
“Trust me when I say I will make America great again, not just for me and my billion dollar cabinet but all people. I will not discriminate against people based on the size of their hands.