Family First Creeped Out By New Stepfather Cory Bernardi

The kids of Family First are unhappy that their mother has brought home a new partner in Conservative Party leader Cory Bernardi.

“Mum’s made some pretty dodgy choices in the past, even flirting with Barnaby Joyce, but this new guy really sends a shiver,” said a family member who wished to remain anonymous just in case their pocket money got docked. “I heard his last relationship with someone named Malcolm didn’t end very well at all. I think he’s just after mum for her voters but she’s blindly in love and just can’t see that.”

“I liked mum’s last boyfriend Bob much better than this new guy,” said oldest daughter Lucy Gichuhi. “Admittedly his financial acumen was a bit questionable but as a builder at least he was handy at fixing things around the house. The first thing Cory did was go into the bathroom and make sure the towels were hanging at exactly the same length off the towel rack.”

The family are concerned that Bernardi may be trying to move his grown up son George into the household.

“George is staying in the old family home for now but I’m trying to encourage him to move in with us,” said Senator Bernardi. “I’ve even promised to let him play with his whip whenever he wants to.”

Peter Green

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Categories: Politics

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