26-year-old Tasmanian man Luke Thomas was walking through Hobart Mall when he stepped in chewing gum, prompting him to convey his annoyance on both Facebook and Instagram. Upon hearing the news ISIS, or Daesh as they’re also known, released a statement taking credit for Luke’s misfortune.
The statement went on to claim other events that ISIS demand they be credited for including: bad weather, the Transformers movie franchise, all the socks that have gone missing in the wash and Piers Morgan.
They did, however, seek to clarify that they have absolutely no link whatsoever with the band Nickleback, saying: “We are evil and despotic and not even we could have come up with something as vicious as Nickleback. That has to be the work of the Devil, himself.”
As of writing Mr Thomas’ Facebook post has received 16 likes, 4 sad faces and 2 angry faces. Channel 10 has said six more likes and they’ll consider him for the role of the new Bachelor whilst Channel 9’s 60 Minutes program has offered to buy the piece of chewing gum’s exclusive story.