Ukraine President Zelensky Asks Albo For Cars From Mad Max  

The Ukrainian government has sent a formal request to Australia to send over all the cars from Mad Max to help it win the war against Russia.

“The Bushmaster is a fine military vehicle but if we really want to kick Putin’s arse we’re going to need the V8 Ford Intercepter, that Volkswagen with all the spikes on it and whatever it was the prick with the fire breathing guitar was riding around on,” said Volodymyr Zelensky in a desperate phone call with Anthony Albanese. “A few of those boomerangs with the blades on them that the feral kid was tossing around wouldn’t go astray either.”

News that the Ukrainian war effort was going to be boosted by Max Rockatansky’s pursuit vehicle has reportedly had the head of Russia’s special forces pleading with Vladimir Putin to negotiate a cease fire.

“I am the Nochnoy Vsadnik. I am a rocker, a roller, an out of controller, a fuel injected suicide machine… but I’m fucked if I’m going to take on the Ford Intercepter just because old Dobby the House Elf has his knickers in a twist over being left on the shelf when the cold war ended. Stuff that.”

The request for the cars from Mad Max comes on the heels of reports that Yuriy Sak, advisor to the Ukrainian Defence Minister, had been spotted last September eyeing off vehicles at the Deniliquin Ute Muster.

Peter Green

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