Animal rights group PETA has called on companies worldwide to rethink their vernacular and consider renaming meetings ‘veggings’.
“I can’t believe in this day and age we use such a barbaric word as ‘meeting’,” said PETA spokesperson David Tofu. “I apologise for using the ‘m’ word, I hope I did not offend you.”
“It’s just I am so passionate about animals and the ‘m’ word conjures up such awful images. Like the smell of burning flesh and the sight of steak tartare. I’m sorry I have to go and have a vegging with my therapist, this is all too much.”
However, the call to rename meetings veggings has not been embraced by the business community. A spokesperson for the Australian Chamber of Money-Making Businesses , Michael Plunder, said of the proposal: “Yeah let’s call meetings veggings and we can install a campfire in offices and all sit down and sing Kumbaya. Tell the hippies to go and get a job first then they can discuss what terms offices use.”
When The (un)Australian explained that the people raising this actually did have jobs as spokespeople for PETA, Mr Plunder said: “Hang on, you’re saying these people get paid like actual cash for coming up with ideas like calling meetings ‘veggings’? My god, you’ll have to excuse me I have an urgent mee.. ah veg… ah look I’ve got to speak to some people.”