Imran Khan Elected President After Winning Majority Of Reverse Swinging Voters

Former test cricket captain Imran Khan has been elected President of Pakistan after winning the support of a majority of the reverse swinging voters.

“Imran polled well at the start of the day with traditional swinging voters when the ballot papers were still shiny,” said Pakistan’s top election analyst Mahmoud Green. “He hardly got any swinging voters at all during the middle of the day and then suddenly picked up all the reverse swinging voters when the ballot papers got old.”

Opposition leaders and independent observers have disputed the result, saying they have evidence of vote tampering.

“We found heaps of ballot papers with cough lolly residue on them and a whole box of votes that had been roughed up with a bottle top,” said unsuccessful candidate Salim Ponting. “It’s very suss how Imran printed all his how to vote cards on sandpaper.”

The new president has vowed to end the endemic corruption in Pakistani politics.

“Let’s face it, if you can’t trust a member of the Pakistan cricket team to fight corruption, who can you trust,” said Karachi voter Sharif Gatting.

Peter Green

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Categories: Sport

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