Men throughout Australia are continuing to investigate what might the purpose be of the mysterious pointy metallic objects that keep being found inside strawberries.
“It’s a shortish sliver of steel with a hole at end that tapers to a quite sharp point. We think it may be some kind of jousting stick for cockroaches,” said Professor Barry Ocker, chief researcher at the Institute For Bloke’s Science. “It’s left us quite perplexed, and in the meantime I have all these holes in my socks and I have no idea what to do about them.”
“It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen,” said Kirrawee garbage truck driver Bob Schooner, holding up a spikey thing that he found inside a punnet. “My best guess is that it’s a harpoon for mice who like to go whaling. As if I don’t have enough to worry about with all these missing buttons on my shirt.”
Men have been warned not to insert the objects into their eyes and to refrain from picking their teeth with them till their actual purpose has been ascertained.
“My theory is that it is a pole vault for fleas,” said Engadine bricklayer Tyson Harley. “But I have more important things on my mind, such as how to patch up all the worn out bits of my jeans.”