Dutton Announces The Death Penalty For Anyone Who Tampers With A Potato

dutton

Following the recent spate of needles being found in strawberries and other assorted fruits the Minister for the Home Affairs Peter Dutton has announced as a preventative measure that anyone caught tampering with a potato will be put to death.

“What has happened to our strawberry farmers is horrific and I think we can all agree that should this happen to potatoes, then for most Australian’s it would be like a death in the family,” said Minister Dutton.

“I’m sorry just the thought of a poor innocent potato having a knife stuck in it’s back or even worse a no confidence motion passed against it makes me choke up a little.”

When asked whether the death penalty for food tampering could be applied to other food types like apples or au pairs, the Minister replied: “We will definitely look into it for au pairs though we may limit it to only the imported au pairs.”

Mark Williamson 

www.twitter.com/MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter or like us on facebook



Categories: Politics

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: