MCG Ready To Honour Anzacs With 58 Seconds Of Silence And Cry Of “Carn The Pies”


A Collingwood fan is greatly honoured to have been chosen to perform the traditional cry of “carn the pies” at the 58 second mark of the minute’s silence during today’s Anzac Day match at the MCG.

“This is a very solemn duty and I vow not to let our fallen troops down by chiming in too early or letting my voice crack,” said pies fan and professional burglar Declan O’Crimmins from Coburg North. “My wife downloaded this special stopwatch app onto my phone and I’ve been gargling nothing but hot lemon and honey drinks for the past three days.”

“The 58 seconds silence plus cry of “Carn the Pies” is one of the most moving events on the Australian calendar,” said Anzac Day coordinator Major Alan Stern. “We don’t want it wrecked by some rank amateur from the Great Southern Stand chiming in at the 55 second point with a badly rehearsed “Go Bombers” and completely disrespecting our brave boys and girls on the front line.”

Controversy has arisen however with some diggers upset at the decision to allow the band Birds Of Tokyo to play prior to the match.

“Why are they letting some jap so and so’s loose on the arena,” said veteran Bert Sullivan. “Couldn’t they find a good old fashioned Aussie band like Birds of Wagga Wagga or Birds Of Shepparton.”

Peter Green

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