NSW Police Look Forward To Spending The Weekend Strip Searching Swifties

NSW Police have announced to the press how they look forward to spending the weekend making the State safer, by strip searching all the young Swifties attending Taylor Swifts upcoming shows in Homebush.

”For a lot of young Sydney siders Taylor Swift will be the first concert that they’ve been strip searched at,” said a Police Spokesperson. ”Since the courts stopped us from attending Wiggles concerts..”

”’To all the young Swifties don’t get upset or nervous, just Shake It Off. Unless of course you are carrying in which case be prepared for a Cruel Summer.”

When asked why NSW police still insisted on using strip searches as part of their methods of dealing with concert goers, the Spokesperson said: ”We’re not monsters, we do use gloves after all.”

”Besides, if you’ve got nothing to hide then what’s to be afraid of?”

”We’ve all seen naked butts before.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, Barnaby Joyce is in town and I need to be a part of his police escort.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

We’re also on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theunoz

The (un)Australian Live At The Newsagency Recorded live, to purchase click here:

https://bit.ly/2y8DH68



Categories: Arts

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a comment