Sussan Defends Dutton: ”He Can’t Be A Liar, His Pants Are Not On Fire”

The Liberal party’s deputy leader (yep, really), Sussan Ley, has defended the parties leader Peter Dutton from accusations of lying, declaring that Peter can’t be a liar as his pants are not on fire.

”The press and Mr Albanese like to throw around accusations like, that’s a lie, why are you lying and can’t you ever tell the truth Mr Dutton,” stated Susssan. ”But, they don’t realise how foolish they look, as the public don’t care about the truth they just care about what they hear.”

”And trust me, between now and the next election they will be hearing a lot from myself and Peter Dutton.”

When asked why the Opposition leader seemingly only did soft interviews with sycophant’s like Ray Hadley and Ben Fordham, Sussssan Ley said: ”No one hits harder than Ray Hadley, he gives Peter quite a workout each week.”

”Pete says that some days it feels like being flogged with warm lettuce.”

”I bet Mr Albanese wouldn’t like being flogged with warm lettuce. Probably worried he’d upset the Greens.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, Peter said that Albo allegedly eats live goats. I must and go and do a press conference on this.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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