Author Archives
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Tantrum Fixing Allegations Rock Tennis
The Australian Open tennis tournament has been scandalised after a former player revealed that many high profile tantrums have been fixed by gangsters. “It’s an open secret that certain players will bung on a dummy spit to take advantage of… Read More ›
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“No-one Is Forcing Us To Watch Cricket” Australians Suddenly Realise
After 140 years of obsessively watching every second of the cricket, the Australian population has suddenly worked out that no-one is holding a gun to their head to make them do it and they could actually be doing something much… Read More ›
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Tearful Baristas Admit It’s Been International Roast™ All Along
All coffee served in Australia’s hipster cafes has been International Roast™ the whole time, confessed the nations baristas in a tear soaked press conference yesterday. “The Belizian Misty Mountain, the Los Pelotas Kilimanjaro Cascara, even the one that allegedly has… Read More ›
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Entire Nation Trying Not To Picture Rupert Murdoch And Jerry Hall Doing It
Australia’s 23 million people have spent the past few days trying to get the image of Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall’s wedding night out of their head. “I’m trying to think of nice things like a beautiful lake with ducks… Read More ›
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Coogee Beach Takes Off On Backpacking Holiday
Coogee Beach has disappeared from the coastline of Sydney and is heading towards the UK to do a bit of backpacking. “I’m going to drink a lot of beer, do a Contiki tour and land a job as a ‘stop… Read More ›
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Magpies Postpone Swooping Season Till December
Faced with the possibility that the streets will still be bare of people in September, Australia’s magpies have reluctantly pushed back the swooping season to December. “What’s the point of swooping season if there’s no-one to swoop down on but… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 