Author Archives
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China Hacks Bureau Of Meteorology In Attempt To Build Their Own Tim Bailey
International cyber hacking experts believe a recent breach in the security of the Australian Bureau of Meteorology’s computer system can be traced back to the Chinese government wanting to steal plans for the construction of their own Tim Bailey. “China… Read More ›
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Secret Service Agents Training To Dive Out Of Way Of Bullets In Case Of Trump Victory
A special crack unit of the United States Secret Service has begun learning how to throw themselves out of the path of oncoming bullets meant for Donald Trump should the Republican Party nominee successfully win the November election. “My role… Read More ›
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“Women Picturing Ross Cameron Naked” Responsible For Declining Birth Rates
A study has linked Australia’s declining birth rate with an increase in women getting an image of Ross Cameron in their head during sex, totally killing the mood. “We showed women photographs of various objects including Ross Cameron and then… Read More ›
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Eric Abetz Demands Bigger Celebration For People Coming Out As Bigots
Eric Abetz has spoken of the pain of spending years hiding the fact that he was a bigot from the rest of society before finally deciding to out himself. “I always knew that I was different from the other boys… Read More ›
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James Paterson’s Punchable Face To Be Displayed In National Gallery
The Australian government will solve its budget deficit by putting Senator James Paterson’s eminently punchable face on display in the National Gallery and charging visitors $10 a shot to smack him in the kisser. “Some people are born with melons… Read More ›
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Sexual Harassment Tapes Convinces Last Wavering Douche To Get Behind Trump
The release of a video from 2005 showing the presidential candidate making lewd remarks about women is the straw that broke the camel’s back in making America’s last undecided douche throw his support behind Donald Trump. “Incredible as it may… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 