Author Archives
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Malcolm Turnbull Loses Family Vote Over What To Watch On TV
The Prime Minister has received a further setback after being forced to watch The Block after losing the vote over what the family would be watching on Sunday night. “Normally me, the dog and the butler form a voting bloc… Read More ›
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Pauline And Tony Make Lovely Couple On “Married At First Sight”
In a special Canberra edition of the reality TV show Married At First Sight bachelor Tony appears to be delighted with his new bride, Ipswich fish and chip shop owner Pauline. “She’s an absolute babe and we seem to have… Read More ›
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Annual Leave Cancelled For All Defamation Lawyers As Derryn Hinch Enters The Senate
Australia’s defamation lawyers have braced themselves to be working around the clock to deal with the fallout from whatever senator elect Derryn Hinch might have to say in his maiden speech in parliament. “I was looking forward to two weeks… Read More ›
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“Listening To My BS Can Remove Cells From Your Brain” Claims Pete Evans
Celebrity food heater Pete Evans has advised his followers to reduce the size of their brains by adapting their level of scientific knowledge to that of a caveman. “The human brain evolved to understand only paleo science, so modern humans… Read More ›
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Magpies Protest Against Cuts To Australia Post Deliveries
Australia’s magpies have threatened to go on strike in protest of plans to reduce the number of postmen as Australia Post looks to ways of cutting costs. “My members have already indicated that they’ll support a campaign of stop swoop… Read More ›
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Saudi Arabia Bans Stripy Fisherman Shirts and Berets
In retaliation to the French government’s ban on the burkini the Saudi Arabian government has banned the wearing of striped Breton fisherman shirts and berets. “Any citizen caught cooking with garlic and engaging in existentialist philosophy will be subject to… Read More ›