In a special Canberra edition of the reality TV show Married At First Sight bachelor Tony appears to be delighted with his new bride, Ipswich fish and chip shop owner Pauline.
“She’s an absolute babe and we seem to have so much in common,” said Tony as he sat down on a lounge chair to get to know his new wife a little better. “We both like dogs, kids and sending foreign looking people back to where they came from.”
“Tony’s a surf lifesaver which will come in handy if I get into trouble out in the ocean trying to push a boat full of refugees back,” said Pauline. “The only reservation I have is he seems to have a bit of onion breath but nothing a full bottle of Listerine won’t cure.”
Tony’s best man Malcolm agreed that Pauline is quite a catch.
“I know Tony has been a bit down ever since I cut his grass and stole his previous wife The Australian Public away from him,” said Malcolm as he tried to avoid associating himself with members of the wedding party sitting at the far right hand side of the official table. “I wish him all the best with Pauline and I hop this will stop him trying to undermine my relationship with The Australian Public, which has gotten a trifle rocky since the honeymoon. The honeymoon. Gosh that feels like a long time ago now.”
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