Author Archives
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Australian Sheep Census Taking Forever
The sheep census started by the Australian Bureau of Statistics back in 1950 is still no closer to completion due to all the census takers falling asleep five minutes after the start of each working day. “You’d think it would… Read More ›
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Police Lure Protesting Greyhound Owners Away From Parliament House With Mechanical Mike Baird
Police have diffused a rowdy protest against the banning of greyhound racing by luring the angry crowd away from the NSW parliament with a mechanical lookalike of Premier Mike Baird. “We were concerned for the safety of the Premier when… Read More ›
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Ageing Muppets Sacked From Sesame Street
Hundreds of muppets are tonight living rough after being evicted from their homes due to the gentrification of the iconic Sesame Street neighbourhood. “Property developers have moved in on what they consider to be prime inner city real estate making… Read More ›
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“I Have No Ties With Russia” Says Trump From His Black Sea Holiday Home
Presidential candidate Donald Trump has interrupted his post convention holiday at his Black Sea “dacha” to deny allegations that he has close connections with Vladimir Putin. “Those journalists making these stories up better think carefully about what they’re writing or… Read More ›
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Woolworth’s Fires Own Brand Accountant
Retail giant Woolworth’s has sacked its generic accountant and gone looking for someone with brand name skills to rescue the company from dire financial misfortune. “We foolishly thought a dull looking accountant in a non descript suit was the way… Read More ›
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Muslims Killed Jesus Claims George Christensen
Federal member for Dawson George Christensen has had to backtrack on his claims that Jesus was killed by Islamic extremists after taking a closer read of his Bible. “It’s totally natural to assume that a violent death in the middle… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 