Federal member for Dawson George Christensen has had to backtrack on his claims that Jesus was killed by Islamic extremists after taking a closer read of his Bible.
“It’s totally natural to assume that a violent death in the middle east is the work of ISIS,” said fervent supporter of the sugar industry Christensen after initially blaming terrorists for an act that is now believed to be the work of the Romans plus an alienated Jewish loner named Judas. “I reckon if they searched that Judas guy’s home they’d find all kinds of scrolls supporting the destruction of western civilisation and plans for slingshots of mass destruction.”
It is not the first time that the LNP politician has pointed the finger at Islamic terrorists and later had to issue a retraction.
“Okay I was wrong about Pearl Harbour and the extinction of the dinosaurs,” admitted Christensen from his office inside the Big Pineapple. “Though I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the US government is suppressing footage of someone in a burka standing on a grassy knoll in Dallas aiming a high powered rifle at JFK.”