Author Archives
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Parramatta Eels Fined For Being Above The Scandal Cap
NRL club Parramatta have been handed a hefty fine by the league for breaking the number of scandals a single club is allowed to become embroiled in within the space of one season. “Every club is allowed to be involved… Read More ›
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Mechanical Rabbit Plague Feared After Greyhound Racing Banned
Farmers across New South Wales are bracing for a devastating increase in the population of mechanical rabbits after Mike Baird banned greyhound racing. “Greyhounds are the only natural enemy of the mechanical rabbit and without them around, our fields are… Read More ›
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Chilcot Report Finds PM Hugh Grant Acted Heroically In ‘Love Actually’
After seven years of investigation and 2.6 million words, the Chilcot Report has concluded British Prime Minister Hugh Grant acted with massive cojones in standing up to sleazy American President Billy Bob Thornton in that scene in the 2003 romantic… Read More ›
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Embarrassed AEC Admits The Dog Ate Australia’s Ballot Papers
Australia may be heading for the polls again after a red faced Australian Electoral Commission confessed that the reason it hasn’t been able to hand in a result for Saturday’s election is because the dog ate all the ballot papers…. Read More ›
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I Really Love The Pogues – Turnbull Tells Cathy McGowan
Malcolm Turnbull has begun the process of buttering up the independent candidates he may require to form government by phoning Cathy McGowan and praising her work as lead singer of The Pogues. “I got my butler to phone her up… Read More ›
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Pauline Hanson To Hold Unbalance Of Power
Nearly thirty years after Joh Bjelke-Petersen failed in his attempt to become PM, Pauline Hanson and Bob Katter have finally realised his dream of putting batshit crazy Queenslanders into positions of power in Canberra. “We’ll only pass legislation if security… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 