Author Archives
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Sky News Blames Shockingly Low Ratings On Cancel Culture
Niche news network Sky News Australia has lashed out and blamed what they call ”cancel culture” for the network’s ridiculously low ratings. ”Damn! Woke leftists have decided to cancel us,” said a Sky News spokesperson. ”They should force people to… Read More ›
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Dutton Defends Using Go Fund Me Cash To Buy Puppies For Strangling
Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has defended his decision to use funds raised for Queensland flood relief to purchase puppies to strangle. ”My role is very stressful and I’m sure that the people in my electorate want… Read More ›
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ScoMo Feigns A Cough And Asks Jen If She Can Call The Office And Tell ’em He’s Sick
Australian Prime Minister (for now) Scotty who was fired from marketing has woken up this morning put on a faint cough and asked his wife Jen if she could call the office and tell ’em that he’s sick. ”I’m not… Read More ›
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Nation’s Advertising Exec’s Hold Bedside Vigil For Clive Palmer
The Nation’s advertising executives have taken a break from the nose candy and headed up to the Gold Coast to hold a bed side vigil for their patron saint Clive Palmer. Mr Palmer is currently hospitalised with covid-like symptoms. ”It… Read More ›
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Li’l Scotty From Engadine Looking Forward To Playing Dress Ups This Weekend
Australian Prime Minister li’l Scotty from Engadine has told his best friend Jen that he’s really looking forward to playing dress ups this weekend. ”I’m gonna have so much this weekend playing dress ups with all my photographer friends,” said… Read More ›
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Perrotet Orders All NSW Workers To Work From Their Nearest RSL Or Club
NSW Premier (as of writing) Dominic Perrotet has told NSW workers to stop working from home and instead head to their local RSL or Club and work there. ”In an ideal World we would have all workers back in the… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 