Author Archives
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Santa Claus Detained By Australian Border Force
Merely days before Christmas, a Mr S Claus allegedly from the North Pole has been detained by Australian Border Force whilst trying to enter the country. It’s believed the patron of Christmas was identified by Customs Agents during immigration, his… Read More ›
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Dutton Denies Being The One Armed Man That Killed The Fugitive’s Wife
Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has strenuously denied being the one armed man that killed The Fugitive Dr Richard Kimble’s wife in the early 90’s movie. “These claims are baseless, sure I currently do have one arm due… Read More ›
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Warning Labels Put On News Stories Containing Photos Of Spiders
The government has announced that it will be compulsory to put a warning label on any news story that contains a photograph of a spider to protect the sensibilities of sooky arachnophobes. “We are introducing the “SP” warning to go… Read More ›
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Shorten Proudly Tells Friends He Only Let the Government Get To Second Base On Recent Date
Labor leader Bill Shorten has returned from a date with the Government and proudly boasted to colleagues that he only let them get to second base as he cut them off before they got to third. “Bill was very happy… Read More ›
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Liberal Party Change Their Constitution To Make It Impossible To Unseat A Sitting Craig Kelly
Scott Morrison’s Liberal Government has held an emergency meeting overnight to change the constitution of the party to ensure that no sitting Craig Kelly is ever unseated in a pre-selection battle. “We’ve listened to the people and by people I… Read More ›
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Morrison Government Fails To Win An AACTA Acting Award For Its Performance As A Government
The Morrison Government has left the AACTA awards empty handed after their attempt to act like a Government was labelled weak and unconvincing by critics. “The AACTA awards are all about acting and the craft and we have seen none… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 