Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has strenuously denied being the one armed man that killed The Fugitive Dr Richard Kimble’s wife in the early 90’s movie.
“These claims are baseless, sure I currently do have one arm due to an injury and yes I was in the area when the crime occurred but so were a lot of people,” said Minister Dutton. “I mean why is no one hassling immigrants or Bill Shorten.”
“In fact I’ll be amazed if it wasn’t Bill Shorten after all he is the reason for everything that has gone wrong in Australia since we have been in Government. Go hassle him.”
When pressed on why he sought to blame Bill Shorten for his problems Minister Dutton replied: “It’s always other people’s fault that my plans for world domination get thwarted. I mean I would have been Australia’s supreme leader had Matthias Cormann not stuffed up the numbers.”
“I tell you he is Pinky to my Brain.”