Author Archives
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Australians Stunned To Learn Jarryd Hayne Not Playing In The Super Bowl
Australians were shocked to learn today that their favourite son Jarryd Hayne, who left the country to chase his dream in America, would not be playing in this year’s Super Bowl. David Johnson, an avid reader of The Daily Telegraph… Read More ›
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Alan Jones Threatens To Keep Broadcasting If People Don’t Stop Listening To Him
Radio broadcaster and failed former politician Alan Jones has issued a clear threat that he will continue to keep broadcasting if the general public don’t stop listening to him. This is the second threat Mr Jones has made in a week… Read More ›
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Tainted Lettuce Blamed For Bill Shorten’s Plummeting Popularity
Tainted pre-packaged lettuce sold at Woolworths and Coles supermarkets has led to an outbreak of deadly salmonella poisoning amongst consumers. It is also being blamed for the potentially low polling figures of Opposition leader Bill Shorten. A spokesperson for Mr… Read More ›
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My Kitchen Rules Kitchens Condemned
The Food Authority of NSW has condemned the kitchens used in My Kitchen Rules due to unhygienic kitchen practices, but a spokesperson for the Food Authority says that it’s not the infringements that is the worrying issue, as they are only serving the… Read More ›
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‘Not Brain Surgery’ Now Redefined In Popular Idiom
In their annual review of the changing use of American English, the American Heritage Dictionary group announced that the phrase “It’s not brain surgery” is to be redefined in new editions of their popular Dictionary of Contemporary American Idiom. The change is… Read More ›
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Shorten Excited That People Are Talking About Him Even If It Is Only Faceless Men Who Plan To Knife Him
Labor leader and warm favourite to appear on the next season of I’m a Celebrity Get Me The Hell Out of Here Bill Shorten was excited to hear that people were talking about him, even if it was only Labor’s faceless men planning… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 