Author Archives
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Dutton Tells 4 Corners Producers He’ll Release Their Loved Ones Once He Sees The Ratings
Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has told the producers of ABC’s 4 Corners that he will release their loved ones from captivity the moment he sees the ratings for last night’s show. ”It won’t be too long now… Read More ›
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ABC’s 4 Corners To Profile Opposition Leader Lord Voldemort
The ABC will tonight air a deep dive into Australian Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton on their flagship A Current Affairs program, 4 Corners. ”Tonight we are hoping to find out what’s really behind the man, who’s allegedly… Read More ›
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Dutton Blames Low Polling On No Carb Diets
Australia’s Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has blamed his terribly low polling results on the rise of the low-carb diet. ”The Australian people don’t know what’s good for them,” declared the Dark Lord. ”They’re all Albo this and… Read More ›
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Fixated Persons Unit Investigate Sky News Over Meghan Markle
The Fixated Persons Unit has announced that they will be investigating niche news network Sky News Australia over the stations ongoing obsession with Meghan Markle. ”We understand that Meghan is in the public eye so news stories about her are… Read More ›
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ScoMo Sad That He Won’t Be Able To Take A Selfie With The Queen’s Coffin
Former minister for health/Industry/finance and part-time Prime Minister Scott Morrison has spoken of his sadness that he was unable to get to London to take a selfie with the Queen’s coffin. ”Scott was very sad that he was no longer… Read More ›
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Coalition Says No To ICAC As The Price Of Lettuce Is Too High
The Dark Lord led Coalition has come out strongly against a proposed Federal ICAC due to the high price of lettuce. ”It’s all well and good for Mr Albanese to come out and want to set up this and that… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 