Treasurer Josh Frydenberg was spotted sneaking into his home study last night, carrying what looked suspiciously like a Ouija board under his arm before locking the door, a source close to the Morrison government’s “numbers man” told The (un)Australian. The… Read More ›
Politics
Hanson Reminds The Nation’s Karens That She’s The Queen Karen
One Nation’s leading attention seeker Pauline Hanson has called out the nation’s Karens to remind them that Karen is in fact her middle name, and to stand back and pay reverence to her as the Australia’s Queen Karen. “It’s all… Read More ›
Journalism Students Told To Sleep With Barnaby If They Want To Work In The Industry
Aspiring journalists have been told that instead of university or TAFE, they should instead consider sleeping with the Member for New England, Barnaby Joyce to progress their journalistic careers. “The days of cadet-ships and graduate positions are over, as newspapers… Read More ›
PM Panics After Learning Cormann Did The Numbers For The Budget
Australia’s part-time Prime Minister Scott Morrison is said to be panicked after learning that the numbers that Treasurer Josh Frydenburg will announce later today as part of his budget update were calculated by the Finance Minister Matthias Cormann. ”This is… Read More ›
ScoMo Announces That Parliament Will No Longer Sit On Rainy Days
Australia’s part-time Prime Minister Scott Morrison has announced that, in solidarity with the nation’s tradies, parliament will no longer sit on days with inclement weather. ”We’re all in this together, so I have made the decision that if it’s a… Read More ›
“Zoom? What’s Zoom?” Says Bloke Who Cancelled Parliament
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has reacted with befuddlement when asked if parliament could be run via Zoom. After spending two weekends watching footy and sinking beers, Morrison announced that they would suspend Parliament due to the threat of coronavirus. Whilst… Read More ›