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Politics
Turnbull Regrets Taking Matt Canavan’s Mother’s Advice To Order Italian
Prime Minister (for now) Malcolm Turnbull has expressed regret at his choice of dinner last night after ordering Italian. The Prime Minister decided on Italian after receiving a recommendation from Senator Matt Canavan’s Mother. A remorseful Prime Minister spoke to… Read More ›
Abbott Wants To Put The Coal Back Into Coalition
Aspiring Opposition leader Tony Abbott has called upon his Liberal and National colleagues to put the ‘Coal’ back into the Coalition. In a speech delivered to his loyal following, held in a telephone booth on the Northern beaches. Speaking to… Read More ›
Malcolm Turnbull Leaves Abattoir With Sack Of Offal To Feed Far Right
Malcolm Turnbull has been spotted staggering away from a Queanbeyan abattoir with a dripping sack of offal over his shoulder during his weekly visit to gather food for the Far Right that lives in his basement. “He’s obviously terrified of… Read More ›
Dutton’s New Super Security Department To Target Smiths Chips, Seagulls and Gobbledoks
The makers of Smiths Chips have gone into hiding following the appointment of Peter Dutton as the head of Australia’s new super Home Affairs security ministry. “ISIS, the mafia and Russian spies will no longer be Australia’s main security concern,”… Read More ›
Severe Loss Of Old Growth Greens As Citizenship Based Clear-felling Continues
The Australian Greens are today surveying the damage done to the party room following the citizenship-based clear-felling that has occurred to their old-growth Senators. The loss of Senators Ludlam and Waters is seen as significant and has caused structural damage… Read More ›