Abbott Wants To Put The Coal Back Into Coalition

Aspiring Opposition leader Tony Abbott has called upon his Liberal and National colleagues to put the ‘Coal’ back into the Coalition. In a speech delivered to his loyal following, held in a telephone booth on the Northern beaches.

Speaking to The (un)Australian Mr Abbott talked about his love of coal, saying: “With all this talk of wind farms we have been blown off course. It is the COAL-ition not the wind farm-alition.”

“My colleagues need to take my lead and embrace coal. It is good for humanity. Trust me, I know what’s good for humans I’ve created a few in my time.”

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull when reached for comment deferred his reply until he could run it by his supervisor Peter Dutton.

The Greens were unavailable for comment as they were busy checking their eligibility to comment on parliamentary matters.

Opposition leader Bill Shorten simply grinned when reached for comment.

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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