Attorney-General and book shelf aficionado George Brandis opened up his email account today and was greeted with 48,598 unread emails. The sudden influx of emails combined with the government’s rise in the opinion polls has Brandis bursting with pride over his… Read More ›
Politics
Howard Released After Heart Scare After Tests Confirm He Still Hasn’t Got One
Former Australian prime minister and world-renowned eyebrow groomer John Howard was released from hospital on Saturday after suffering a heart scare. Doctors released Mr Howard after tests confirmed the longest-serving PM since his conservative hero Robert Menzies still didn’t have one. The… Read More ›
Abbott Announces 300 More Troops For Iraq, 900 To Fight Hitler
Prime Minister Tony Abbott has announced Australia’s “next phase” in international military intervention by committing 300 troops to Iraq and 900 to 1944-era Germany. In an announcement held on Tuesday, the Prime Minister reaffirmed Australia’s commitment to the destruction of… Read More ›
Liberal Party Has 68 Members Jostling For Leadership
In a stunning turnaround, the Liberal Party now have 68 members putting their hand up for the leadership position. It is in stark contrast to last month’s spill motion against Tony Abbott, where nobody else contested the top job. Rumours… Read More ›
Ruddock Really Removed To Reduce Unsettling Ghost Sightings Around Parliament
It has been revealed that Philip Ruddock’s removal from the office of Chief Government Whip after the failed LNP leadership spill had nothing to do with his performance in that position, but was due to disruption caused by his ghostly presence around… Read More ›
Electorate Imagines Abbott’s Death, Polls Improve
The Australian electorate collectively woke this morning from the loveliest dream in which Tony Abbott was no longer Prime Minister. The imagined cause of this much coveted outcome varied, some envisioned a triumphant Turnbull at the conclusion of a spill,… Read More ›