The Australian government has declared that it is certain to meet all of its obligations to reduce carbon emissions by 2030 after officially adopting the Mayan calendar. “The great cycle of the long count component of the Mayan calendar ended… Read More ›
Science
Morrison Blames Bushfires On The Greens Planting Too Many Trees
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today come out and blasted the Greens party for heavily contributing to the nation’s bushfire epidemic. “Let’s face it, it’s the Greens who have been planting all these trees,” Scorched a fired up ScoMo, “If… Read More ›
Malcolm Roberts Demands A Royal Commission Into Whether Or Not The Fridge Light Stays On When The Door Is Closed
One Nation’s leading Scientific mind Malcolm Roberts has today demanded the Government immediately hold a Royal Commission into whether or not the fridge light stays on when the door is closed. “It’s time this Government focused on issues that matter… Read More ›
City Worker Wonders If It’s Rained Enough Yet To Shut Up The Farmers
An inner city office worker has casually asked his colleague if they think we’ve had enough rain yet to shut up the farmers. Before going on to hope for a return of ‘good’ weather before the up coming weekend. “Look… Read More ›
Study Finds That People Who Eat Kit Kats Without Breaking The Fingers Are Likely Psychopaths
After the recent terror attack on the streets of Sydney, the Federal Government announced a new study to be conducted by the CSIRO to discover tell-tale signs of possible future psychopaths. Talking exclusively to the (un)Australian, Head Boffin at the CSIRO… Read More ›
Local Coke Dealers Resent Cross Fit Gyms Taking Away Their Clients
Local Cocaine dealers are up in arms after a number of their usual clients have turned their backs on them in favour of joining a cross fit gym. “Ah look mate it’s just not right you know,” said a dealer… Read More ›