Local Cocaine dealers are up in arms after a number of their usual clients have turned their backs on them in favour of joining a cross fit gym.
“Ah look mate it’s just not right you know,” said a dealer from Sydney’s Eastern suburbs. “I work hard you know, I cater to these people 24/7 whether it’s late on a Friday night in Bondi and the boys want some nose candy. Or Saturday arvo at Randwick when a bit of a bump makes a day at the races tolerable.”
“All this and they just dump me for some flavour of the month workout program, where’s the loyalty?”
When asked how much of a hit cross fit gyms have had on the industry the Dealer said: “Mate it’s not good, the Eastern suburbs are almost all off the gear and on this bloody cross fit. I’ve had to head on over to the Inner West to try and sell some of my excess merch to the hipsters.”
“Tell them it’s the only pure 100% renewable, vegan party drug.”
Police have put out a warning to the general public not to approach a Cross fitter. Unless they are prepared to endure an grueling hour long lecture on how cross fit and keto had totally transformed their lives.