South Australians are rejoicing at this week’s announcement that the new Australian Space Agency will be based there, providing much-needed hope of a faster way to escape Adelaide. During the announcement Prime Minister Scott Morrison said he thought South Australians… Read More ›
Science
20 Year Old Copies Of National Geographic Supplied For Patients Waiting To Opt Out Of My Health
Millions of Australians still waiting to opt out of the My Health scheme have been supplied with digital copies of 20 year old National Geographics and Gourmet Traveller Magazines to keep them occupied. “I got online about forty minutes ago… Read More ›
Adventure Tourist Killed By Isolated Tribe From Sutherland Shire
An American adventurer has been killed while attempting to make contact with the peoples of the remote Sutherland Shire. “The young man ignored warnings and foolishly attempted to cross Tom Uglys Bridge and was cut down with a hail of… Read More ›
Mick Fannings Installed At Every Beach To Repel Sharks
The NSW government has reacted to a spate of shark attacks by installing Mick Fannings at every beach in an effort to keep swimmers safe over the summer. “A line of Mick Fannings stretching from Eden to Tweed Heads will… Read More ›
Total Lunar Eclipse Ruined By “Folding” Aldi Chair
Despite clear night skies for Saturday’s total lunar eclipse, NSW South Coast residents had their viewing interrupted when a man lost his shit while trying to collapse a folding camping chair. Dozens of camera tripods belonging to amateur astronomers were… Read More ›
Sadistic Woollies Shopper Reckons 15c Is A Bargain For Chance To Choke A Dolphin To Death
A thrifty psychopathic Woolworths shopper with a pathological hatred of dolphins believes that a 15 cent plastic bag that he has found is the bargain of a lifetime. “The last time I choked a dolphin in person I had to… Read More ›