The Opposition’s shadow Minister for Home Affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has pledged to give up (getting caught) drinking for Lent. ”A lot of people make sacrifices for Lent, some give up watching TV, others going to restaurants, for me, I pledge… Read More ›
Bubble
ScoMo Boasts Of Secretly Appointing Himself Australian Of The Year
Australia’s former PM (yep, really), Scott Morrison, has been quietly boasting to all who’ll listen how he has secretly appointed himself 2024’s Australian of the year. ”Scott, err, sorry ScoMo, is genuinely chuffed that he thought of this little scheme,”… Read More ›
World Leaders Stunned To Learn That ScoMo Has Appointed Himself As Their New Warm Up Act
World Leaders signed up to the same speaking agency as former minister for health/industry/innovation/finance and part-time Prime Minister Scott Morrison were stunned to learn that the former PM had appointed himself as their warm up act. ”There is nothing harder… Read More ›
Barnaby To Spend The Day Discussing Jobs Particularly Head And Blow At Today’s Summit
The Opposition’s shadow Minister for Home and Foreign Affairs Barnaby Joyce has told colleagues that he intends to attend the Government’s planned jobs summit simply to spend the day inquiring about the potential for head and blow jobs. ”If there… Read More ›
Dutton Celebrates Surviving The Week With All His Horcruxes Intact
Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has celebrated surviving the first week of Parliament with all his horcruxes intact. ”The Dark Lord has survived a bruising first week,” said a Spokes Death Eater for the Dark Lord. ”Harry Albanese… Read More ›
ScoMo Tells Cabinet “It’s Not A Lie If You Believe It”
Australia’s PM Scotty-from-Hillsong’s marketing department has responded to accusations that he is a liar by declaring that “It is not a lie, if you believe it.” ”Scotty is convinced that he’s not a liar,” said a Government insider. ”At first,… Read More ›