Australia’s former PM (yep, really), Scott Morrison, has been quietly boasting to all who’ll listen how he has secretly appointed himself 2024’s Australian of the year.

”Scott, err, sorry ScoMo, is genuinely chuffed that he thought of this little scheme,” said a colleague who wished to remain anonymous. ”He truly believes that God selected him to be PM and now wants him to be Australian of the year.”

”God moves in mysterious ways apparently.”

When reached for comment on rumours that he was to be named Australian of the year, the former PM said: ”I reject the premise of your question.”

”However, should the Australian people wish to foist upon me the honour of being Australian of the year, I wouldn’t say no, rather, I’d say ScoMo!”

”Let me tell you, should I win, wait and see the side eye that I launch on Albo, it’ll be anything other than tame.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to pick up my Australian flag suit from Lowes.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: ABC, Albo, Anthony Albanese, auspol, Australia day, Australian of the Year, Bubble, Canberra, Honours, Insiders, Invasion Day, QandA, Scomo, Scott Morrison, Scotty From Marketing