Prime Minister Scott Morrison has told his inner circle that he plans to improve his fitness after he struggled on a hike over the weekend and he will be doing so with an extensive regime of ‘thoughts and prayers.’ “The… Read More ›
Bushfires
Folau Stubs Toe And Immediately Repents For Once Watching An Episode Of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
Former Rugby player turned self-appointed hell, fire and brimstone preacher Israel Folau has stubbed his toe and immediately repented to the Lord for once watching an episode of the TV show Queer Eye For A Straight Guy. “The Lord moves in… Read More ›
Morrison Blames Bushfires On The Greens Planting Too Many Trees
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today come out and blasted the Greens party for heavily contributing to the nation’s bushfire epidemic. “Let’s face it, it’s the Greens who have been planting all these trees,” Scorched a fired up ScoMo, “If… Read More ›
NSW Declares A State Of Emergency As Rural Gambling Revenue Falls
NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has declared a state of emergency after figures came in showing that revenue from gambling in bush fire affected areas was down. “We won’t panic yet but we do need to make sure that people can… Read More ›
Barnaby Offers Up A Bed To Any Ladies Evacuated Due To Bushfires – No Uggo’s
Former deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has let it be known to his constituents (well the female ones) that should they need it there is always a warm bed and a shoulder to cry on at his place. “Barnaby has… Read More ›
Thoughts And Prayers Allocated To Drought Relief To Be Sent To Bush Fire Victims
The Morrison Government has moved quickly to reassure the victims of the horrific bush fires currently raging through Queensland and New South Wales that they will be fully resourced with thoughts and prayers. With the decision made to reallocate thoughts… Read More ›
