Berejiklian Regrets Not Killing Off All The Koalas Earlier In The Year When She Had The Chance

NSW Premier (as of posting) Gladys Berejiklian has told colleagues that she regrets not killing off all of the states koalas earlier in the year when she had the chance.

This revelation comes as a rift between the Nationals and the Liberals in NSW over koala protection threatens to tear the Government apart.

”Gladys is pretty annoyed at the moment more so with her self than Barilaro,” said a Government Insider. ”She keeps going on and on about how she should’ve finished the job earlier in the year as there’d be no koala problem now”

”In her office she has a stuffed Blinky Bill toy called John, and let me tell you that thing has had the crap kicked out of it the last few days.”

When asked why Koalas were the thing to seemingly blow up the Government, the Government Insider said: ”Everyone loves the bloody things but do you know that they sleep 20 plus hours a day and they all have chlamydia.”

”At least a kangaroo will hop around and they don’t taste too bad either, ever tried a koala?”

”Me neither cause they’re bloody protected.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to drive some pensioners to their local club, the State may be in disarray but we need to make sure that the pokie machines keep on running.”

Mark Williamson


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