Former shock-jock and teacher (yep) Alan Jones has bemoaned the fact that grooming is no longer encouraged in Australian schools. Claiming that the lack of grooming has led to a rise in dangerous beliefs like man-made climate change or the… Read More ›
Channel Nine
Channel 9 Cancels Don Burke’s Planned ARIA Appearance Replaces Him With Rolf Harris
The Nine network has reacted to the allegations made against former presenter Don Burke by cancelling all his appearances on the network including his planned appearance at the upcoming ARIA music awards. “We had Burkey pencilled in to join Darryl… Read More ›
Kidnapping Department Now Most Profitable Department Of Channel Nine
Following a poor summer of test cricket and declining ratings for renovation based reality shows Channel Nine has announced that its kidnapping department is the only sector of the company that has turned a profit in 2106. “The only thing… Read More ›
New Reality TV Show Features Heterosexuals Flaunting Marriage Rights
Channel Nine aired its new reality TV show Marriage At First Sight this week, in which participants marry someone they’ve never met so that people can watch the drama of an arranged marriage unfold. Much like a wealthy man lighting a… Read More ›
Wanderers Fans Behind Sack of Rome, Channel 9 Exclusive Claims
Fresh from new scenes of violence by Western Sydney Wanderers’ fans during Saturday night’s A-League clash with Perth Glory, in which a flare was used and a 12-year-old fan launched an unprovoked attack on police pepper spray with his eyes, Channel Nine… Read More ›
Fourth Test To Feature More Former Cricketers Explaining How Current Cricketers Are Doing It All Wrong
Cricket fans are in for a fresh treat, with the Fourth Test between Australia and India starting in Sydney on Tuesday expected to feature yet more former Test cricketers pausing between their seemingly endless anecdotes about their own careers to… Read More ›